Stop comparing your relationship to others: 3 reasons why

The grass may always look greener on the other side – be it in your personal or professional life. But wait till you nurture your own! When it comes to being a couple, finding contentment is very important. If you begin to look outwards and then at your own bond with your partner, feelings of jealousy, inadequacy and an emotional complex may surface. That’s when you know why you need to stop comparing your relationship to seek the true joy that lies in love.

Relationships form an integral part of our lives. They tend to be the pieces which contribute towards our happiness and satisfaction.

People can often find themselves in a quandary when things may not seem to be going so well in them.

While assessing the root of the problems, people may realize it may not always be about what may be going wrong with their personal dynamics.

“Instead, it may be linked to the ways in which one may be evaluating things when comparing their relationship to the perceived life being led by others,” clinical psychologist Dr Kamna Chhibber, Head – Mental Health Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Healthcare, tells Health Shots.

Stopping these evaluations with others and their relationships is rather important as comparisons can significantly impact the quality of the relationship you have with your partner.

3 reasons why you must stop comparing your relationship

Here are the reasons which explain the impact of comparing a relationship with other couples, or comparing your partner:

1. Breakdown of communication

When comparisons become rampant in your relationship, a breakdown or lack in communication can easily occur. This happens on account of the circularity that can emerge in conversations where a partner experience the comments coming from you as being repetitive, nagging and even triggering.

This can lead a partner to want to avoid being in situations where such comments occur or can also lead to greater levels of disruption in interactions.

2. An increase in conflicts:

When you utilize others around you as a reference point, comparisons become a norm and can easily lead to conflicts between your partner and you. These conflicts emerge because your partner may not be able to find and provide solutions, and a stalemate can arise when you bring up your displeasure with what you feel does not exist in your relationship.

Also read: Is there a ‘right’ way to fight with your partner?

3. Overall rise in discontentment:

In such a situation, without realizing, you may find yourself feeling rather dissatisfied and discontent with how things are in your relationship. You may evaluate the quality of the life you are leading with your partner in a more negative manner than may be warranted by the situations that truly exist. As a result, you can begin to wonder why you are with the person you are with and it would impact the quality of your significantly by taking away the good moments that did occur as well.

How to stop comparing your relationship?

According to Dr Chhibber, the complaining partner must work towards preventing herself of himself from making unnecessary comparisons.

Being aspirational, the expert adds, is helpful. However, it needs to achieveable and within the context of your relationship. This can differ from couple to couple and person to person. “Bring gratitude for what you do have and focus on the good that does exist within your relationship,” she asserts.